New Year, Same Struggles

Hi.

I have a love/hate relationship with celebrating a new year.

I love that it means new beginnings, new opportunities, more reasons to be grateful.

But I also don’t love that it means new beginnings, new opportunities, and more reasons to be grateful.

Anxiety makes all this “newness” really, really not fun. New beginnings mean things have to come to an end. Change is scary. New opportunities mean new chances to fail. Failure is scary. More reasons to be grateful means I’m just overthinking all of this and I don’t deserve all the good things coming to me because people have it so much worse than me. Thinking about what I’m taking for granted is scary.

What people don’t get is this is what us anxiety warriors fight every single day. And it sucks. Slap on some depression and it becomes a real party. It’s like throwing together the energizer bunny and a sloth and trying to make them walk the same speed. You’ll go crazy before that happens.

I’ve been struggling these last few weeks. It’s tough being the positive one all the time. People often say “show more than just your highlight reel”, but those are the same people saying “how to rant on social media—don’t”.

There’s such a difference between ranting and unpacking your sh*t how best works for you. When you’re in that place (you know what place I’m talking about), you don’t feel like you can reach out to anyone. You feel so alone. But at the same time, you’re falling apart and just need to share something with someone, or your going to implode. This is what brings about the “rants” people are so concerned about.

Why do you think I write in this blog? It’s a rant. It’s unpacking. It’s not burdening any of my friends or family, but provides me the release I need.

So, if you’re feeling like you’re so overwhelmed find what works for you. Make a post, message a friend, start a blog, start a podcast, go for a walk, pet your cat or dog, go for a drive. Unpack how you want to unpack. Life is TOUGH. New Years are TOUGH. Anxiety is TOUGH. Depression is TOUGH. But guess what…so are YOU.

This entry had no true purpose. I had no idea what I was going to write. And I don’t think any of it flowed. But I’ve been thinking about writing for days now, but have been so overwhelmed with self-deprecating thoughts, I had nothing to share. I’m still not sure I had anything productive to share. But here is my nothing to share.

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time. You rock.

Love,

Me 🖤

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