So, for months, maybe even a year now, my Psychiatrist has been telling me that I should see a therapist.
Don’t get me wrong, I 100% support going to see and talk with a therapist. I saw my therapist for 8 years and I loved her!
But I also am no longer naive to my illness, as well as what I need, and what I can handle at any given moment. Being officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety for 12 years, and suffering for much longer, I know what I need, when I need it. I’m not trying to sound like “I know it all”. Because I don’t. But, I also know that having to leave work early once a week to go to therapy would just cause me more stress and anxiety than talking through anything would help. It would be a complete moot point.
Anyways, I was talking with my Psychiatrist during my most recent appointment about a week and a half ago, and I asked him what suggestions he might have for me. He (again) suggested therapy, but after explaining why that wasn’t an option at this moment, he told me one thing he knows will help. Laugher.
I nodded because it seemed like the appropriate thing to do, but I was skeptical to say the least. I thought to myself on the drive home, “Laughing? Really? Maybe I’ll watch some Scooby Doo or something and that will make me laugh.” The thing is, I didn’t remember the last time I truly belly laughed. Of course, being the squirrel that I am, the thoughts of laughing left my brain and I went on with my life as normal.
I went to work Monday, Tuesday, and a half day on Wednesday, and then left for Knoxville on Thursday. If you know me, you know how much I love travel and airplanes, but also how much I hate being away from my husband and pups. Well, I was anxious to fly alone to a state I’d never been to with a bunch of women I had only interacted with over social media. I told myself that I needed this. That God was trying to show me something by bringing me here, so I needed to take the time to follow His plan and listen to him. And holy cow did He have a plan for me.
I have not laughed as hard as I did this past weekend, and I have not felt as loved by a group of friends as I did this past weekend. And dang it did it feel good. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I had a full (long) weekend full of laughter. And to be honest, I didn’t realize how it had impacted me and my depression until I got home and went back to work.
I didn’t feel an ounce of depression while I was in Knoxville. Yes, I was sad and missed my hubby and puppers, but depression did not consume me for one single stinking minute. Laughter, love, friendship, and happiness consumed me while I was there.
Coming back and rejoining the reality that is work made me realize how much laughter had prevented all of the bad feelings from overcoming me. I don’t laugh at work. At my work, if you’re laughing, you’re distracted from working, and if you’re distracted from working, you’re wasting company money.
Now, I’m not saying to waste company money, but I am saying that you deserve laughter in your life. And if you spend 10 hours a day at work, all 10 hours shouldn’t be spent holding back tears praying for 6:00 to arrive.
Wherever it is, find your laughter and make it your reality, because it can help make all the difference.