So, I’m reading this Self-Help book. I’m probably what they call a Self-Help Junkie. I love these books, maybe to a detriment to my mental health.
Well, regardless, the one I’m currently reading (AKA listening to on Audible ’cause who has time to read with an hour commute and a 12 hour work day?), the author was talking about a study that she read in the Journal of Behavioral Science that discusses Impostor Syndrome. No, it’s not in the DSM, and no, it’s not scientifically PROVEN, but it is real as can be.
When I first started listening to this chapter, I was almost turned off because I was convinced it didn’t apply to me.
The author explains that Impostor Syndrome is when you as a person are convinced, despite any factual evidence proving otherwise, that you are a fraud and that you don’t actually deserve the success you are achieving. Despite all of the performance reviews, despite all of the feedback, the compliments, and the growth you’ve seen in yourself, you believe you aren’t actually deserving of the success that you’re achieving. The author notes that the study showed that although Impostor Syndrome appears in people of all genders, it is found that women “own up” to it more often than everyone else.
I was convinced that this syndrome didn’t apply to me because I don’t think I’m a fraud. I’m super duper real, open, and honest (hence the blog). But the more I thought about it, I realized that I am 100% suffering from Imposter Syndrome. Not that I think that I’m a fraud, but I 100% sabotage myself by speaking poorly about myself, thinking negative things about myself, and expecting the worst things to happen to me.
THIS is Impostor Syndrome. And it can affect EVERYONE.
Why do we do this? WHY? I don’t know what it is for you, but for me, it’s a lack of self confidence. I’ve always lacked self confidence and I don’t know why. I’m getting better, but it’s still not 100%. On top of my self-help book addiction, I also went and saw Rachel Hollis’ “Made For More” movie and it was LIFE CHANGING. I put what I learned from Rachel Hollis and what I learned from my Audible together and I had an epiphany.
Instead of worrying about fixing myself and my confidence, I need to worry about standing up for my sisters. If I can’t stand up for myself, the least I can do is stand up for them. I’m taking this as my first step to combating my Imposter Syndrome. I’m ready to stop discounting myself and start adding back my tax. I’m ready to go.