Do you ever feel invisible? Like if you were to not exist anymore, no one would even notice? You could completely be erased, and nothing would change for anyone?
Yeah. That’s been me this week. I honestly don’t even know why I say anything. Why I even have a voice. You might as well take it away. I honestly don’t know why I’m even trying to do anything half the time. I LITERALLY want to give up. Not in a dangerous way, I’m feeling safe, just in an…adult…kind of way. I want to quit being an adult. I want to go back to being a kid when I KNEW my voice didn’t matter because I was a dumb little kid who said dumb stuff. I’m almost 26 years old. Maybe it’s a quarter-life crisis kind of thing, but I feel like I should be entitled to some sort of opinion at this point. I’m old enough to rent a car without penalties for goodness sake. That’s gotta count for something. *facepalm*
I honestly feel like I’m worth more to my followers, friends, and teammates on the internet than I am anywhere else in the world. Those people see me more, know me better, and actually take the time to read my posts.
But it’s more of a fictional read than anything. It’s like my words, opinions, and thoughts are just fiction to be tossed aside when they’re done. There is no substance to anything this world does or says. Everyone is too busy being self-absorbed to consider words, thoughts, or opinions from everyone else. But even to my friends on the internet, if I were to one day disappear, nothing would change for anyone.
I know, I know. I’m throwing myself a pity party, but honestly, it’s really aggravating and depressing at the same time.
Why can’t people stop wearing their ass as a hat for one freaking minute to listen to someone other than themselves? It’s like everyone is so busy talking and NO ONE is listening. If no one is listening, then WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING?
THIS is what’s wrong with society. People are too busy pointing fingers at everyone else. Too busy telling everyone else what they’re doing wrong and ordering them to fix it. Too busy to look in the mirror to see themselves for who they really are. Too busy to see what THEY are doing wrong and what THEY need to fix. They’re too busy wasting their energy building themselves up on their OWN pedestal to be the tallest and the best, that they don’t even see everyone else is building themselves up just as tall. Those of us not wasting our time boosting our own self-esteem are stuck at the bottom securing the foundations of everyone else’s pedestals.
Yes, sometimes it’s dark down there, but at least I didn’t sacrifice my morals and ethics just to try to beat everyone else out. You go ahead and puff out your chest. You won’t last long up there when your shaky foundation crumbles from underneath you.
I love listening to people, but I’m tired of listening to never be heard in return. I’m tired of being invisible.