Decided to not get up to go to class today. I was just feeling like I wanted to stay in bed… which I did. I wish I could say this was just because it’s winter time, but that would not a lie. It would also be a lie to say that the weather had nothing to do with it.
Not only do I suffer from depression and anxiety, but I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder. What is SAD? Well, for me, it feels much like increased depression when winter rolls around. Many people blow off this disorder as something that’s just in the victims head. Believe what you want, but I know it exists because I suffer from it every fall/winter. In fact, I have a device that is called a sun lamp. It is a UV lamp that I plug in and sit in front of while doing homework, blogging, or even watching television. People always warn against tanning and UV light, but it actually can be good for you in moderation. Unfortunately my lamp won’t make me tan, but it does help with my SAD.
SAD is not necessarily something that I believe needs to be diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. My personal case, was diagnosed, but if you feel more sad in the winter time, your feelings are true and justified. It happens to many more people than is recorded by surveys. Sun lamps can be expensive and do take time and commitment if you want them to help, so a cheaper, easier alternative could be going tanning once a week or so in order to get that UV rays, or even sitting outside whenever you get the chance. Just bundle up and soak up some rays. The UV light can even get to you when it is slightly overcast, so go for it. The sun shines for free, take advantage of it.
I want to make it clear that I am not endorsing skipping class or work, but somedays your depression and anxiety can get the best of you. It happens to everyone. Don’t stress about taking a day, or even ten minutes to meditate. Taking time to yourself everyday is a must. It’s difficult. Trust me, I understand, but you NEED to make time for yourself. Alone time where you can just be with yourself and your subconscious. Meditation may bring you clarity that you are seeking, or it may even lessen some anxiety you’ve been struggling with. I will do a whole other post about how I meditate someday to see if my methods can maybe help you.
In the meantime, love yourself, because no one will ever love you the way you love yourself. And keep the faith in yourself because I know you can do it.